Monday, March 22, 2010

Didn't know Canadians were Socialists. Those bastards.

Because apparently when you have free health care/mandatory health care you are a socialist. Is that not right? Because that's what my Facebook-status-frenzy-news-feed said at oh, 9:53 last night.

See, I thought that making insurance accessible, non-restrictive and required (because, come on, it should be), would be a good thing. Plus, Congress actually did something. A big something. And that hasn't happened in a while, right? (Time out. This is being said by a girl who has no real interest in political matters, hasn't done real research on this bill [but neither have a hell of a lot of these jackasses on my news feed], but I know when my President is or is not a socialist. Just sayin. Time in.)

I am all for speaking your mind and having your opinion heard. When it's something relevant. And spelled correctly. And grammar friendly. I'm sorry, but if you do one of the following I will not listen to what you say, take you seriously or not crinkle what eyebrows I have in your general direction:

1. Misspell any of the following: government, Obama, socialist (e.g. soshalist, socalist or sochialest), insurance or Congress.

2. Use excessive punctuation. For example, "That Obuma is a f*ckin idiot!!!!!!!" (Also see item 1 for why this is unacceptable.)

3. Slander/Libel. Not sure where social networking falls. I need a smart law kid to tell me which item #2 would be classified as. What's more important is that you're talking about the President of the United States on your Facebook, and you should show a little respect. Leader of the free world, and all. (Oh, wait. Apparently we're not free anymore. Because now we all have health care.)

4. Any annoying grammatical faux pas: "It's" instead of "its". "Its" instead of "it's." Accept/except, affect/effect, passed/past, there/their/they're confusion.

5. If you say "stupidest." Seriously? You could only look *more stupid* if you said "most stupidest." Such a winner.

6. Threat to jump ship and move to Canada. You know what I say? Go for it. But you'll have free health care, and thus, will be a socialist. So...Enjoy the trip, Karl Marx.

7. If your "Obama sucks." status has elicited more than seven responses and they're all on your side. Buhh.

Yeah, I think that's enough for now.

And because of my vast knowledge on the subject (heh heh heh), I've decided to go to an awesome source that really does put things in perspective. It's not mean, pro, or anti. It's just the truth. Ladies and gentlemen, David Sedaris [if you don't know Sedaris please refer to my Things I Lurv post]:

(In response to a question asked regarding the difference between America and France's health care system)

Allow me to answer with kidney stones. I had my first one at the age of 34. At the time I was living in New York, and had no health insurance. Never in my life had I experienced such pain, but I couldn’t afford to go to the hospital, and so I passed it at home, not knowing until the end what it actually was. (I thought I was delivering Satan’s baby through my penis.)

I had my second kidney stone seven years later, in Paris. It was ten o’clock in the morning, and after looking at my options in the phone book, I took the metro to a hospital in the 15th. Two minutes after walking through the door, I was in a private room. Delicious, mind-numbing drugs were delivered to my blood stream by way of a tube and life was beautiful. I was in the hospital for four hours, and as I was leaving, I asked the receptionist how I was supposed to pay.

“Oh,” she said, “We’ll send you a statement.”
“But you never even asked me my name.”

A few weeks later I got a bill for the equivalent of seventy dollars, this because I’m not a French citizen, and am therefore not entitled to free care.

I got my third kidney stone a few months ago, while on a lecture tour of the United States. The hospital I went to was in Westchester county and the service was outstanding. Maybe I arrived at the slowest time, but, like in France, I was waited on immediately, and the doctor and nurses could not have been more pleasant. Again I was there for four hours, though this time the bill came to $5,800. Not including medicine.

I’m completely fascinated by the health care debate going on in the United States, especially by posters of Obama with a little mustache drawn on his upper lip. Is that what Hitler is really known for, his health care plan? To quote Bill Maher, “I haven’t seen this many pissed off old white people since they canceled, “Murder She Wrote.”

Now I live in England. I’ve just been granted Indefinite Leave To Remain, which allows me access to the N.H.S.

Ah, Dave can fix anything. Let's face it. Our real problem is that we don't like change. It's true, right? Especially if change is initiated by someone who you didn't initially approve of. But sometimes we have to have a little faith in people and their knowledge and trust that what is best to happen will happen.

And I've got to throw this last tid bit in for the sake of its timing and, well, how awesome it was. If you didn't catch the sneak peek of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on ABC last night, look for the big premiere on Friday. Jamie Oliver revolutionized school lunches in England and he's bringing his ideals over here to change the way we eat, and hopefully making us a healthier, more educated country. He's met with harsh resistance and uproar (Sound familiar, America...?), but we get the feeling that he's going to make a difference. The last few minutes of the show was actually preempted for the announcement of the pass of the health care bill. Hello, good/coincidental timing...Now let's see if Obama can go all Jamie Oliver and make us believe so much that we cry. Like Jamie did. Seriously. Weeping. He cares so much! Lurv.

Ok, covered "politics" and TV. That seems pretty successful. I'm calling it a day. Until next time, let's all mellow out and use Facebook the way it was meant to be used: to get recruits for Mafia Wars and constant reports on your daily activities.

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