Thursday, September 2, 2010

Latest Confessions

I totally understand the merits of a fanny pack.

Let me back that thought up. Remember my move my body initiative? Well, since the weather's changed from "hot as balls" to "damn near tolerable" I've taken to walking around my apartment complex and down the lake every day after work. But I have too much stuff. Keys, phone, iPod (with my audio books. Because I'm way cool.), mail if I stop by the front office, umbrella if it looks cloudy... I need a place to put it all. You can't exactly pretend to power walk carrying a purse, now can you? I'm not going to use a backpack because I'm going around a parking lot...Not trekking through the wilderness. I guess I could leave a key under the mat, leave the phone at home, deal with the rain if it comes, and get one of those arm bands for my iPod, but...I'm walking. Just walking. Flinging my arms back and forth. It'd pretty much be saying, "I'm just too lazy to hold on to this, k thanks."

Thus: The fanny pack.

Maybe I can get a camo one so no one can see it. That works, right?

Since I've really started to enforce the whole daily-body-moving thing, it made me think of my man Kevin James:

My fitness goals are different than most people. Most people want to lose enough weight so they look good in a bathing suit or they want to lower their cholesterol. I just want to lose enough so my stomach doesn’t jiggle when I brush my teeth.

Atta boy. I'm all about achievable goals. Personally, I want calves that one would not describe as, "squat."

Next:

I fully intend on setting a season pass for this season's Dancing with the Stars. I mean seriously:

-The Situation. Yes. I think the world needed another reason for him to take his shirt off. And we've been granted that glorious gift.

-Bristol Palin. Like Alaska's not embarrassed enough being that close to Canada...Between her mother watching Russia from her house and this latest stint, Alaska's head is literally hidden in shame.

-Jennifer "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner" Grey. Can we go ahead and start the pool on how long they wait to make her dance to "She's Like the Wind"? Or do the lift? And I'm gonna go ahead and put $10 on the fact that they'll say she's "had the time of her life" when she's inevitably asked to leave.

-David Hasselhoff. Oh, I'm already bracing myself for the copious amounts of chest hair we'll be exposed to. And slow motion runs in red swim trunks. You know they'll work it in.

-As for: Audrina, Brandy, Michael Bolton and Mrs. Brady, all I have to say is...BAH! It's gonna be a winner of a season.

2 comments:

THE KEEVERS said...

you should know that louis vuitton is making a fanny pack. must be cool if they're putting them out there!

Mellie said...

Now that's something I need to get my hands on then. And it makes me feel not as bad/tragic. :)