My Lord, I thought they were kidding...

The Double Down is real. I heard about it forever ago...Two chicken patties as buns, stuffed with bacon and cheese. I thought it was a joke. A ploy. A little bit of brouhaha. Nope. It's officially on the KFC menu as of April 12. It weighs in at 32 grams of fat and 540 calories. Sadly, it's not even the worse choice on the menu. An extra crispy chicken breast and large popcorn chicken are both worse. McDonald's "Big Breakfast" and salad with dressing both boast more fat. That doesn't mean it's not a monstrosity. It is. But that's not what's upsetting me.

KFC thinks this is a sandwich.

Seriously? Calling two pieces of fried chicken a "bun" does not a sandwich make. Yes, the Vortex has a hamburger that uses two grilled cheese sandwiches in lieu of buns, doughnut hamburgers are an actuality (Jim Gaffigan time out: "We're never satisfied when it comes to food. You know what would be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. And instead of a bun let's use two doughnuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle here comes the doughnut-ham-hamburger!!" I wonder if he knew he wasn't being factious...), but those "buns" are in fact some sort of bread. Chicken is not bread, no matter how processed it may be.

Oh, the Double Down also comes grilled. You know, for the health conscious out there.

And to top it off, it's already been inducted into the This is Why Your Fat kingdom of gluttony. (Which by the way, is one of the most amazingly disgusting and wonderful sites out there on the good ol' interweb today.)

Bon apetit, everybody. Buh...