T3T: Kickin it Old School

I’m professing my love for this week’s T3T. I could talk about old school TV for hours. And hours. And, yes, hours. Wow I watched a lot of TV as a kid… But there was just so much good stuff out there—How could I not watch it? When I first found out about RetroJunk.com, I don’t think I was productive for a week. Excuse me, no. I can’t write my paper, I have to re-watch the intros to Jen and the Holograms, Hey Dude and Mr. Wizard’s World again. Busy! Needless to say, choices were difficult. But it must be done, so here we go:

Doug

Dear Journal,

It’s me, Doug.

Ah, Jim Jinkins I like you. Seriously. This is a great show. And I’m talking about the original Nickelodeon version. Not the one Disney destroyed by chopping off Patti’s hair (who do you think you are, maiming her perfectly wavy coiffure??) and forcing Porkchop to live in a teepee. Nickelodeon was the real deal. I mean, what didn’t we learn from Doug?

-Girls with condiments as surnames are always hottest.

-Best friends are the ones that make strange noises that you accept as the norm and eat hamburgers with.

-Green = Mean.

-It doesn’t matter if you wear the same thing every day because it’s hard enough being that awkward. Wardrobe is one less thing to worry about.

-Banjos are way cool.

-Beets are cooler than you would think. Beetball, anyone? “The Beets” (The day I figured out that the Beets were a play on the Beatles…I felt way smart. I felt in on a joke and I. Loved. It. [Yes, I was still a kid. Give me some credit]). I did however just realize that the sister in beret and sunglasses was a beatnik. Insert big “Ooooooooh” here.

How is there not a Tao of Doug? There is much to learn from a boy who dreams of being a superhero that wears underpants outside of his khakis. There’s brilliance in there somewhere.

Muppet Babies

To be completely honest, I love muppets in all forms. Straight to VHS cartoons, movies (Yeah, I own Muppets Take Manhattan. What?), Christmas specials, variety shows with Prince… (It happened. Gonzo wore ass-less chaps. Prince wore a letterman’s sweater. They sang “Raspberry Beret.”), but I especially loved Muppet Babies: unrequited love, torso-less Nanny, crazy-scary closets and countless Star Wars references. Frank Oz must’ve had major swing with the SW copyright… Tell me that nursery window doesn’t scream Millennium Falcon hitting hyperspace.

Yes, I'm a nerd. We should all know that by now.

Avonlea

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, how I miss the Sunday night Wonderful World of Disney. Avonlea rocked. I was so in love with Gus, so wanted to be Sara Stanley and so wanted to kick Felicity King in the baby maker (snot nose little brat.). Somebody buy me this series and we’ll be best good friends.

Nom, nom, nom, nom...

Geez, now I just wanna go back in time, wear long linen aprons and lace up boots, live on Prince Edward Island and run through a field of wild flowers. Eff. So unattainable!

And whatever happened to the kid that played Felix? Did he or did he not get crazy hot by the last season? The answer in case you’re curious is, YAH. He did.

Speaking of, does anybody else remember that movie Looking for Miracles? Came on Disney. His older brother worked at a summer camp and brought him along. Little Felix got a cake made out of cardboard for his birthday. He cried and ran away? Ringing any bells?

Special side note to Disney: You used to produce wonderful things. Wonderful, glorious things. Now you have Wizards of Waverly Place. You just sit back and think about that. Come see me when you’re ready to apologize.