Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lessons Learned from Iron Man 2

1. Mickey Rourke has talons. And apparently they are the source of his I-may-not-be-hot-anymore-but-I'm-crazy-awesome powers.

2. Scarlett Johansson is the new Zoolander. Perpetually stuck in what I like to call the Blue Steel Phase.

3. Assholes are hot.

4. Unevenly self-tanned douchebags are not. But they're funny.

5. Gwyneth Paltrow is a pall upon the film industry. You're as annoying as your character's name and should be put down. You know Blythe Danner's gotta be disappointed in the offspring.

6. Don Cheadle and Terrance Howard might as well be the same person. Cast change? What cast change?

7. No Peter Billingsley cameo makes me all sad inside. (By the way, WTH, Favreau? You two have a fight or something?)

8. Doesn't live up to Dark Knight sequal staus, but it's still chock full of summer fun. So with my blessing, go get your Stark on.


T. Nance said...

How dare you take a cheap shot at my future-ex-wife Scarlett?!?!

Mellie said...

Hey, I'm not the one who enrolled her in the School of Method Acting for Kids Who Can't Read and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too. Don't put that on me!