Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Way too early for realizations.

I don't have a good relationship with the snooze button. I don't trust myself with its giving nature. I'd take advantage and smack it over and over; just call me Chris Brown. (Too soon?) Getting to the point, I set four alarms in lieu of the snooze, and between each interval I'm in various stages of wakening, flopping back and forth, moving my phone/alarm from bedside table to that glorious empty side of the bed, so it's just that much closer for me to reach and turn off.

And that's when it happened. After Alarm #2 at 7 am, I realized that someday, I'm going to have to share my bed with somebody else. There is going to be a body on my spare side. That's my side. That's where I roll over when I want to find a new, cool spot (and not cool like, "Hey this is a hip joint, do you come here often?" No. I get hot when I sleep and I like it cold.). And that brings up the issue that there's going to be a mass of 98.6 degrees soaking up all the cool air and I'm going to be hot. And sad. Not to mention, where will my phone go? I won't be able to throw it in the middle of the bed, right next to my face because a person will be there. And I don't think he'd appreciate that. Then there is the issue of the pillows. If they are on my bed, they are mine. I sleep on the ones on my side and hold the ones on the other. Yes, I use both. I trade out during the night. And I don't want to hear that my sleeping partner w
ill become my new pillow. That's not gonna happen. The last time I checked, my pillows were soft and cool and I could fling one away and replace it with another if I felt the urge. So, unless I find myself a bedmate with the same size, texture and emotional range as a My Buddy, I'm totally screwed.

But here I am, complaining that someone, someday is going to interrupt my sleep pattern, when Lord knows what I'm going to do for his. He's going to grow tired of waking next to a woman resembling a fish out of water, undoubtedly kicking and slapping in the process and leave me for someone who doesn't look and act like a cavewoman in the A.M. (Time out. Seriously, whoever started the rumor that women are most beautiful when they first wake up totally effed me over. Time in.), and I will be alone. But, I'll have my glorious, spacious bed to comfort me. So. Yeah, I'm OK with that.