Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous

Imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery. It’s also the quickest solution to blogger’s block. Which is why I’ve chosen to employ the illustriously sassy and curmudgeony, Una-current-blog-icon-LaMarche’s potentially meme-in-the-making blog post “Ten 80’s Movies Outfits I Covet Beyond All Reason,” make it my own and thus receive all future credit.

I hadn’t really thought about it before, but there really are some outfits that I put-the-lotion-in-the-basket coveted growing up. As in, had Debbie Reynolds put any of the costumes listed below up for auction, all would be hanging in my closet (except for the cartoon ones. I’m whimsical, not illogical.), and I would be in ridiculous debt. But it’d be worth it. Because, my friends, my childhood fashion diva would finally be at peace. (Time out. Ok, you haven’t seen what I’m about to show you yet, but there’s no way I can describe my younger self as a “fashion diva.” Should really rethink that phrasing, but I’d like you to go into this thinking I’m about to lay some serious fashion on your ass and then have you spit up a little, mid-chortle, as you come across the first poofy sleeve and ankle boot. Time in.)

Let’s begin, shall we?

Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club

My favorite Ringwald of all the 80s Ringwalds. What you can’t see in this picture are those killer knee high flat boots and her wicked awesome leather bomber jacket. I would seriously wear that outfit tomorrow. Ok, maybe not tomorrow because it’s hot. And that much leather in the hot sun does not a good day make. (Insert mental image of Sweaty Leather Pant Ross)

And the lotion and powder have formed a paste!

Liesel from Sound of Music

Ok ladies (and some gentlemen), you just try and tell me you didn’t daydream to dancing around a gazebo with a young, blond, not quite a Nazi yet, telegram delivery boy. You can’t. It’s impossible. Because you did. I still do when I let my mind wander. I want to wear that dress and squee in the rain in front of oddly placed tree limb shadows so it looks as if I’m missing teeth. (Go back and watch that scene. You’ll know what I’m talking about.)

Belle from Beauty and the Beast

Enter the first cartoon. And I’m thinking outside the illustrated box. Nope, not jumping on the yellow ball gown bandwagon. The red, playing in the snow dress is my absolute fave. I want that fur lined cloak. Except mine would come with a muff. (Hold the jokes. This is a family-friendly movie, folks.)

Baby from Dirty Dancing

Let’s kick up the heat, mmk? Now Baby’s not quite what one would call a fashion icon, despite my love of the last-dance-finally-does-the-lift-dress (Oo, or her white jeans and peasant top she wears when she finally sleeps with the help), but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. This outfit, ladies and gents is the Nobody Puts Baby or Her See You Next Tuesday in a Corner outfit. Get it girl. I never knew how she managed to fold pantyhose over bikinis, but by the grace of Jehovah, she pulled it off. Rarr.

Felicity King in Tales from Avonlea

I am indeed a woman of extremes, and here we jump to the opposite end of the spectrum. I pretty much loved any outfit worn in order to run through the fields of Prince Edward Island. The little ankle booties, the aprons of no purpose, the giant lace collars…De-lightful. In truth, I’d wear whatever would get me closest to Gus Pike, so maybe that’s why I chose Felicity as the Avonlea poster child instead of Sara Stanley. Who knows. (Actually, I do. And that’s exactly the reason. Mmm Gus Pike.)

Gidget (a la Sandra Dee, not Sally Field the almost flying nun) in Gidget

I was so all about this orange dress. I was also all about her saying screw you, Moon Doggie, I’m getting with the Big Kahuna, so you could say my childhood fantasies were somewhat misguided. But whatevs, the Kahuna was hot and I’ll sucker punch anybody that tries to tell me otherwise.

No brainer, right?

The Chipettes in Chipmunk Adventure

Come on. Those belly dancer outfits are fab. Despite Brittany’s cape and head scarf, Elanor’s sassy teal was definitely the fave. And poor Jeanette…Always a mess. Even just standing there…A complete mess. By the way, have harem pants come back in style? I mean, the laws against good taste and aesthetics would prevent me from wearing them, but oh I would so drool in guilty wantingness.

Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth

In a quest to find David Bowie in an early form of jeggings, JC ignited my not-so-secret-anymore love of poofy sleeves. I mean. The popped collar, the billowiness, the vest, those eyebrows. Shut up. I love any ensemble that could also serve as a parachute in the event of an emergency.

Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman

Even in my youth I was like...This chick should be wearing a bra, but nevertheless, I loved this hooker-turned-class dress. Could this be where my affinity for belts came in? Perhaps. Just makes me wanna shout, "Hollywood! Hollywood! What's yo dream?"

Dottie and Kit in League of Their Own

Not only are those wide leg, high-waisted trousers Edna-and-Patsy-worthy AbFab, this scene hosted what would become a tagline of sorts representing the Bassett Sisters: "This is our daughter, Dottie. This is our other daughter, Dottie's sister." Nothin but love for ya, Dottie--I mean, Katie :)

Last but not least: Jerrica of Jem and the Holograms

Yes, as in "Truly, truly outrageous; Jem is her name; no one else is the same; Jem is her name" Jem. Before Miley Cyrus had Hanna Montana and that Toddlers and Tiaras bitch, Madison, had Tootie, Jerrica had Jem. And I had this Barbie. With that outfit. Pretty sure that belt was the best Mattel accessory ever mass produced. Ah, many a day I wished to grow up and wear that beret...Thankfully, for my own sense of well being, that never came to fruition. But I may just have my Halloween costume for next year.

So what'd I miss? I challenge you to give me a smack-my-forehead-in-realized-absent-mind-ism.

UPDATE!

Oh m'gosh, Sister is so so right. Maggie's dance dress from Lucas was totally envy-worthy.



Even on the hood of a car and paired with a sweatshirt it was fab, because that meant you got to make out with the then sane-and-quite-handsome Charlie Sheen. Brava, Sister. Brava, indeed.