So there’s been this sense of pressure. What would my 101st post be about? I don’t want to waste it on Glee screenshots (even though they’re awesome) or the cat’s new habit of waking me every morning 15 minutes before my alarm is set to go off (even though it’s heinous). It should be big. With the slightest twinge of epic and whimsy. I’ve seen 101 in 1001 posts (101 goals in 1001 days), but I’m not one for goals or resolutions. Again, the commitment thing. So how about this? On my 101st post, this is my list of 101 things I want. From short to long term. Substantial to paltry. And everything in between.
1. To run a 5k
2. To run a half-marathon
3. To say “run a marathon” is far too predictable. Instead I’d rather find the best bloody Mary in Birmingham
4. Might as well find the best brunch while I’m at it
5. A mini TARDIS for my desk
6. And a mini David Tennant to go with it
7. To fall in love without Eharmony
8. To buy a record player and start collecting vinyls
9. To make a domino-topped end table
10. For Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black to get married
11. For the Biebers to be exiled to Botswana with zero access to YouTube. And sterilized.
12. Take a Broadway pilgrimage to New York
13. To keep fresh flowers at the office
14. For tight baseball pants to make their way back to the major league. These loose and sloppy pajama bottoms aren’t cutting it. Embrace the inherently, God-gifted great asses you were given
15. Have a recipe I’m known for and am asked to make on a regular basis
16. Do something big for my parents as a thank you for, well, everything
17. Sunglasses that cost more than $15
18. To never be considered a person with “baggage.”
19. For my driver’s license weight to not be a lie
20. To see Sutton Foster on Broadway
21. To floss regularly. (What? It’s hard.)
22. To get married to the lurv of my life
23. Have a teeny wedding. One that requires very little time and money.
24. Have babies
25. To not name those babies after inanimate objects or timely celebrities
26. And to stay home with those normal, classically named babies for as long as I can
27. Tons of kitchen counter space
28. To write a book
29. To go to cooking school
30. A king sized bed
31. An apartment with a bedroom large enough to house a king sized bed
32. To not work in a cubicle
33. To attend a taping of the Actors Studio
34. For the Actors Studio to actually come on regularly. I still haven’t seen Meryl’s and it makes me le sad.
35. To own a house and decorate it myself. If “60s, minimalist kitsch” is a style, I think that’s what I want.
36. For Sister to do the house hunting and closing for me
37. For Sister and I to live in the same town
38. And for our future husbands and babies to be best friends
39. To hike
40. And kayak
41. To just suck it up and wear heels
42. To own all seasons of Little Britain
43. For Mad Men to surprise me and come back this summer
44. To buy organic and locally
45. To make enough money so that buying organic and locally isn’t a big deal
46. To never think of myself as “too good” for Big Lots, Dollar General and Ross
47. Wash clothes regularly so that I can never have a literal mound of dirty laundry in my closet
48. A Hobo clutch (If I hadn’t bought all the knock-offs and throw away wallets, I could’ve paid for one by now)
49. A Roku box
50. To never refer to my life as a “journey”
51. A Joan Holloway gold pen necklace
52. To see Coconut Records, Josh Ritter and Mumford & Sons in concert. A Mellow-Palooza
53. For mock turtlenecks to never come back in style
54. Ok, I want to run a marathon, too
55. To become an expert at something. Anything, really
56. For my DVR to magically record only the Law and Orders with Sam Waterson, Jerry Orbach, Angie Harmon, J.K. Simmons and the chick M.E.
57. An Office-themed Christmas tree
58. Real diamond stud earrings
59. To cook for my future family more often than not
60. About 80% of the Urban Outfitters apartment section
61. For Nicholas Sparks to give up writing and take up with the Hell’s Angels
62. For Styrofoam cups, Diet Dr. Pepper and teeny-tiny, Sonic-like ice to come standard in all restaurants
63. Go camping. If only to consume smores in their natural habitat
64. Send a secret to Postsecret
65. Memorize a poem to pull out of a hat at a moment’s notice. I’m torn by choosing something by Keats or a dirty limerick
66. For all of my friends to own a copy of Me Talk Pretty One Day
67. Learn to tie a tie. Because someday I will have a husband with ties I’d like to, well, tie
68. Make a killer dirty martini
69. Run at a speed not also shared by power walkers
70. To never wear Alfred Dunner
71. For Katherine Heigel and The Rock to stop making movies
72. To meet and become friends with Tom and Lorenzo. And for them to call me their dearest unborn fawn
73. Oh, the same thing with the Cake Wrecks/EPBOT girl. She doesn’t need to refer to me as her unborn fawn though
74. For my kids to not have cell phones until their teens
75. A golden retriever, and a big back yard for him to run in
76. To see every Best Picture winner from the past 50 years
77. Host a Pulp Fiction-themed costume party
78. Travel to Spain and spend a week devoted to the Prado
79. Establish a Jeff Bridges Ultimate Compilation section in my little DVD collection, including Big Lebowski, Crazy Heart, True Grit, Last Picture Show and, yes I can’t forget, The Mirror Has Two Faces
80. While I’m at it, go ahead and merge that with a Coen Brothers Collection, too
81. Figure out what Steampunk is and why they get to have such cool flotsam and jetsam
82. To become a person that digs podcasts
83. For Hangover 2 not to be an epic failure, but a hilarious reimagination of the original
84. To be somebody's darling
85. For the Academy to nix the whole “10 Best Picture” nominee thing
86. One of those on-the-go cereal bowls
87. For Kate Winslett to just stop. If I see her nipples one more time, I’m giving up on cinema.
88. A proposal story that doesn’t make me want to gag
89. To still have the same kick-ass group of friends 20 years from now
90. For American Apparel to stop assaulting my eyes every time I visit TFLN
91. For fedoras to come back in style
92. To continue my Project Runway snarkery with gusto and reverence
93. Find a charity I really care about and become an involved patron
94. Take an epic roadtrip across the US
95. Develop an arsenal of karaoke songs in secret for those just in case situations
96. A really good pair of running shoes
97. To become a master of small talk
98. To age as closely to Helen Mirren as possible
99. To visit chain restaurants as infrequently as possible
100. For finger sandwiches, mixed nuts and “Butterfly Kisses” to come nowhere near my wedding
101. To be happy. Whether or not any of these things actually happen.
(But come on; it'd be pretty awesome if they did, right?)
